January 4, 2011

• The party pooper

  Posted by Stephanie  11:10pm CST  from the Rawley’s house  Pearland, TX

  I wanted to be able to pop on here, say hi for the first time in for-evar, and give you all the great report of another clear scan.  But, sadly, today I must be the bearer of bad news and rain on everyone’s parade.  Really, it’s my stupid cancer that’s the party pooper.  Yep, that’s right, after a slew of clean checkups and nearly 15 months in remission, my cancer has reared it’s ugly head again.  Here’s the lowdown:

  The CT scan showed two spots of interest.  First, a small nodule in my right lung.  It’s actually been there quite awhile, just hanging out, unchanged on the last year and a half worth of scans, so there was no need to mess with it.  I guess it decided that it was tired of staying quiet, and has started making it’s presence known–nothing crazy yet, still tiny at 7mm, but growing.  The more alarming spot discovered on the CT scan was actually an enlarged lymph node.  A hilar lymph node, more specifically, which is located in the empty space between your lungs, smack dab in the middle of your chest.  Lymph node involvement is almost unheard of with sarcomas, and hilar lymph nodes, well, that’s even stranger.  The fact that I have a one-inch mass of a lymph node that’s suddenly shown up on a scan has thoroughly confuzzled Dr. Benjamin.  Leave it to me to continuously perplex the #1 sarcoma specialist in the world!  Apparently, hilar lymph nodes are usually only connected to a couple of things.  1) They can become enlarged as a result of primary lung cancer (which he very adamantly said I do not have), or 2) They can be a symptom of a totally unrelated condition called sarcoidosis.  Sarcoidosis usually presents in both the right and left hilar lymph nodes simultaneously, but only one of my left hilar lymph nodes is enlarged, so that doesn’t fit either.  Dr. Benny honestly doesn’t know what it is, or what it means.  He’s checking with his thoracic colleagues first thing tomorrow, and we’re setting up a CT-guided needle biopsy.  Getting a piece of this thing will be the best way to find out exactly what we’re dealing with, and whether it’s related to my cancer at all.  If it’s not related, and is just some ill-timed freak occurrence, then we’ll do surgery to remove the lung nodule and be on our merry way.  However, if it turns out the lymph node is somehow linked to my sarcoma, then that means I have two active spots at the same time.  That means spreading cancer activity, and that means going back on chemo.  Joy.  But, no need to jump the gun or try to speculate at all until we have a more definitive idea of what we’re dealing with here.

  Dr. Benjamin did say that the location of this hilar lymph node is especially tricky to get at–almost directly in the center of my chest front to back, and just below and to the left of my chest hole positioning-wise.  I’ll be sedated, but conscious for the procedure.  They’ll have to go between two ribs and through a section of lung to reach it, which, according to him, will probably result in a collapsed lung.  Eek!  No big deal, he says.  Riiight.  It’s not his lung they’re talking about.  Apparently, they’ll just re-inflate it and leave a chest tube in for 2-3 days until I can maintain it on my own.  Sad how that doesn’t sound like anything major comparatively, now that I think about it.  :)  The biopsy should appear on my schedule by tomorrow, but no telling how quickly they can get me in.  Dr. B seemed to want to get it done quickly, and told us to not bother going home, since we’d just have to turn right around and come back.  I’m hoping it can be performed this week so that we can get home to our own bed and the cat.  Not that I don’t love Houston, but, well, I had hoped to be driving home tonight, not hanging out here for another week!

  Lots of thoughts swimming around in my head.  I definitely feel the need to get them out on paper……er, computer screen, very soon.  But for now, it’s nothing but the facts ma’am, and I’m off to bed.

  Nighty night.

  -Steph

  • 12:30 am
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