May 2, 2009
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Snausages
Posted by Stephanie 5:45pm CST from the apartment Houston, TX
I am a sausage. Well, I feel like one at least—one that’s stuffed so full it’s about to bust through it’s casing. That’s about the best way to describe how I feel all the time now with this swelling and puffiness. It really got significantly worse during this last round, and the last week or so has been especially miserable. I had a mini-meltdown over it before church last Sunday when I was home. I tried on every single pair of pants, skirt and dress that I own, and not a one of them fit. Not a single thing. Sammy found me standing in the closet in my bathrobe just staring at a closet full of clothes I couldn’t wear, and when he asked me what was wrong, I just burst into tears and started blabbering about literally not having a thing to put on. Poor guy, I’m sure he felt lost as to what to say or do, so he just hugged me and let me cry.
It’s sad, and terribly depressing. The only bottoms I have that fit are two pairs of sweatpants and one pair of khaki shorts. I really despise the fact that I’m stuck wearing elastic waist everything till this goes away. Does wonders for a girl’s self esteem, let me tell you. I know, I know, it’s not my fault—it’s the chemo, and the steroids, blah, blah, blah—but knowing that doesn’t make me feel any better about it. Dr. Benjamin said on Thursday that now that I’m stopping treatment and the steroids, all the inflammation, bloating and puffiness should be gone within about four weeks. Hallelujah. Till then I think I’ll just shut myself inside the house so I don’t have to go out in public looking like the Sta-Puff Marshmellow Girl.
Been crazy busy around here since learning Thursday that I’m done. Had to notify the church group that we’d be moving out of the apartment, get prescriptions filled at the hospital, fill out a change-of-address form so stuff would get forwarded home, and so on. Now mom and I are working on cleaning and packing up the apartment. We don’t have a ton of stuff here, since we have been taking things we wouldn’t need anymore on each visit home. Then of course there’s the all important matter of eating at our favorite places before we go.
We should be done with everything by tonight, and our plan is to leave out from here early tomorrow morning to begin the two-day trip home (for the last time!).That’s it for now—I’ve got to get back to my dusting marathon. Adios!
--Steph
